Hola!


That's "hello" in Spanish. Or 'halo' in Portugese. But I digress.

Firstly, this site was not named as such with the assumption that everybody loves me.

That is not the case. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.
Rather, I named it after one of my favourite shows, "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Why, you ask? Simple. I was temporarily stumped with regards to naming this page on the day that I had to name it and I then just improvised the name of my favourite show and slotted it here.


This Site is for anyone who happens to have an internet connection, and a computer.
If you stumbled upon here,
Please, make yourself at home. And do come again.
Everyone's welcome lah.


I have decided not to host or play any more music on this page. Perhaps silence is golden. Either that, or finding places to host and play full-length tracks is proving to be quite a chore in itself.


I also believe that each and every one of you would have your own music players [and music files to accompany the players], and who else to decide what music to play and accentuate your own mood, than yourself?


I'm just picking up from where one of my mates, Liew Kong Yee, left off. He came up with the original blueprint, after which I made some changes of my own.


Talk all you want, the designated area is on the your left. As they say, "you pi, jiu fang. You hua, jiu shuo bah."
Loosely translated, it means "If you've gas, let go. If you've something to say, let it all out."


The story behind the colour scheme is relatively simple.
A return back to basics.
To the days before televisions had multi colours, before technicolour. Hence the simplicity of the scheme. All in black and white.
The way we often see things, in black and white. But we often overlook the fact that nothing in life is in black and white. In fact, there are many shades of grey. So go on and read my entries, with an open mind of course. And just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. c",)


Best Regards,


Lee

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It has been a strange couple o' days
Having read a piece of literary creativity
The type which has always been synonymous with you
And it all came flooding back

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
Just like the song from the musical
Or to quote it in full,

"Mem'ry
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember
The time I knew what happiness was
Let the mem'ry live again"

I remember it all. Vividly.

You
Me
Us
Our time

Which has long since passed.

I do wonder sometimes if I was nothing more than a mistake
If so, fair play to that then
It just amazes me how much time has passed since it all ended
And how we have both since moved on

How true indeed
How cliched as it may be, that time actually does heal all wounds
That the passing of time would be akin to taking the proverbial step back
And enabling oneself to see a bigger, clearer picture

Amusingly, I saw the embodiment of your wish for me today
A spitting image of you she was indeed
What with her fair complexion
And her big, round expressive eyes

Not unlike yours
Which, as I remembered, never failed to sparkle, lke diamonds
Not unlike the glittering stars in a clear night sky
And how could it be complete without the gaze, or even hair?
Which she tied up oh-so-neatly in that particular manner, just like how you did when we dated once ago

Our time. It does seem that long ago now, doesn't it?

She was a girl from college, so most definitely younger than me
Just like how you wished for me
Of course, things are never as simple as they seem
It brought a smile to my face, all this

How, in the light of reading the piece
Being reminded of us
And seeing your wish for me in its physical form
At the MRT station where we last met before you left me

The ironic humour of it all.

I always wondered: Have you ever seen a drama, seen someone in between the bond of two others, and hated them so? Or ever thought someone to be the emobdiment of a test?

I guess, sometimes, no matter how one is objectified, "mistakes" and "tests" have feelings too.

At the end of the day, we are all humans, and not without beating hearts.

But again, we take the learning values from episodes past
And remember the grief, or other emotions felt
As well as the physiological reactions to those emotions
We learn, and we remember

We take it on the chin; and in good stead, too
In our stride
And with one fell swoop, or in as graceful a motion as can be
We walk on

In my case, to wherever my gangly, stringy limbs may take me.

I know now that I have been blessed with a certain amount of resolve, and will always be strong enough, come what may.

Praise be to God.

Saturday, October 31, 2009


Connotations.

Sometimes we all get busy
Get swamped
With work; helping out in the lives of others
Or even with developments in our own lives

In this time, it is all too easy to just... fly by
Pretty much like time itself
It would be all too easy to
But we do not, I would think

Not as much as we think we do.

We all attach connotations everywhere we go; in everything that we do
To a place; a time, an act
To a scent; a certain scenery, a certain setting
A sensation ensues somewhat

It could be a simple breeze you received while being near to a harbour
An obscure lounging area in the midst of a bustling shopping mall, perhaps
A cup of a certain type of coffee
A certain type of clothing, or a particular redolence

An experience with a certain someone, perhaps.
At a certain place, perhaps.
Cosy enough, perhaps.
Sweet perfection, perhaps.

And then you remember
You remember what it is that you felt
That you went through in that point in time; how wonderful it all was
And in a flash, you also remember what happened after that

Events which, somehow or rather, led to the present day
Fondly, You reminisce, recall, remember
You recollect as well
But most importantly, you remember the lessons you learnt from the chain of events which followed

And once again you are transported back to the present
It might sound a tad philosophical, but you are glad that it did happen at one point in time, rather than not at all
So you smile
Even if it didn't turn out like how you'd like for it to

Even as you remember how much it aggrieved you greatly when it turned out that way.

They say the past is a good place to visit, but never a good one to stay
I stand by that adage
Sometimes memories bring a smile to one's face, sometimes more than that
But they remain just that: memories, to be consigned to a corner of one's mind

Like a grave, a tomb or a shrine
To be visited from time to time
To give thanks, or to be offered prayers
But you cannot stay for too long

Because you have to remember that you live in the present
So you just smile once again, and express appreciation that it all happened
That you learnt invaluable lessons from the entire experience
That it made you a more learned, more experienced, better-equipped person

So all you can pretty much do is to just shrug your shoulders, grit your teeth, and smile.

And most importantly, Walk on.

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Fast

Fast it all is
Fast it all has been
Fast it all still is
And fast it will remain, for quite some time yet

It began with the surprising and / or shocking news
Mainly due in part, again, because of its pace
Even now, everything is still sinking in
An adaptation still in progress

It will be three weeks come Monday
Since the move materialized
Since the uprooting
Migration

And what a rollercoaster it has been since then
Running all over the island
Attending to everything
People; property

The learning curve is steep
And the proverbial ship's a-rocking
Rough waters, perhaps
But we will stay the course

Indeed, this is rather unchartered territory
Well, for me at least
I had a rough idea of how things would be
But then again, some things you can only fully understand once you see them for yourself

Here's to a new beginning
A new room, A new family, A new life
A fast, frenetic one
At the high seas, at a frantic pace

Some things can only be brought about with the passing of time. I hope to bed in as quickly as possible, so that I can do all that I set out to do.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


--

You took me to your heart
You let me in
You let me stay there
Where I grew, and maybe even blossomed

But it wasn't all one-way
I had you leave your indelible mark on me too
And we made magic
Quite unlike anything I had experienced prior to that

And then you let me go.

Left me to the wilderness
Somewhat akin to leaving an already-domesticated beast to fend for itself in the wild
In this harsh world
You walked away, and never even took a glance to see what [who] you left behind

It seems so cold, callous, calculated
Machine-like, perhaps even measured-to-perfection-esque
How you could be holding me dearest to your heart
Singing my name

All this, for the longest time, and with the utmost intensity.

And yet, with the flick of a switch you just dropped me
Like a hot potato
Moved away, moved on
Forgot

About me
About Us
'twas as though "We" never happened
But there is always learning value to be had I suppose

I learnt to move
Quickly
No more dragging my heels
I learnt to activate the same switch you did

And just... walk away from it all.

No wonder they say words are cheap
You sing a different tune altogether now
A different tune, but no doubt laced with influences from our time together
Subtle stuff that only the two of us, and God Himself, know

I see you all settled-in, which is fantastic
I have always been happy for you
We all move on in life, don't we?
I'll just keep on walking as I always have, to wherever it is these gangly limbs of mine will take me

In such a situation, I guess there are only two things one can do
One can either let one's past destroy oneself
Or one can grab on to what is right in front of oneself
And start anew

I am thankful that for the longest time, I have always been able to choose the latter
Sure, there have been no shortage of times when I wanted so badly to lose myself
In all sorts of abuse: physical, mental, emotional, substance
And yet, somehow, I just pull through

Perhaps you were right: maybe I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

You have long since made your decision, and stuck to it
Fair play to that; I have always respected your choice
If I am not going to mean anything to you then so be it
I wish you all the best, just as I always have

I suppose you could say that I have always been [a] hopeless [romantic]
But I have also since married my romanticism with a dose, a tinge if you will, of pragmaticism
Granted, the idealism will always be there
But there is also a touch of level-headedness to keep it in check

For me, there will always be castles built in the sky
It's just how I like my horizons
But things have changed somewhat
This time, I'm not going to hurt anymore should it all come crashing down on me like a ton of bricks once again

At least, I won't react in the same manner.

As they quite rightly say, the past can be a good place to visit... but it is never a good one to stay.

I guess time does heal all wounds
The passing of time is the equivalent of us to taking a step back
And seeing the bigger picture
A clearer picture, no doubt

As compared to the myopic, tunnel-vision-riddled one we might encounter sometimes in the heat of the moment, when we are too clouded with emotion.

So perhaps, it was for the best
If you look at it in definite terms, with no ambiguity
I was never anything to you
I was nothing but a toy; a trump card to keep in reserve, to play in case of an emergency

An emergency which never came.

So there it is: I was never anything to you, was I?

Well, perhaps nothing but a substitute. To fill in as and when you required me to.

But I'm good enough to start now, and not to be on the proverbial bench.

Or maybe I have always been good enough to start to begin with.

Either way, I'm glad you left.

Friday, September 18, 2009


Dying Death

Something happened today
I saw something I had never before seen in my life
Not in my personal capacity, let alone my professional one

It was in the dead of the night
Dry surfaces, clear skies
The roads were equally clear

Driving along an empty street
And there it was
Hesitant, fearful even

But cross it eventually did
But not without losing its hesitance
And then the inexplicable happened

Instead of slowing down, the car beside me accelerated
Contact was made
It took a hit, and went up in the air

In a matter of miliseconds, I saw life turn into certain death.

I brought me vehicle to a halt and stepped out
And then I saw it
Stuck in a position as though paralyzed; kicking, convulsing. Hard

FIghting even harder to stay alive.

I saw blood spilled
Even more spewing out
Out of its ears, out of its head

Even as it all happened, I took it into my arms and brought it away
To the grass patch nearby
Right in front of Ngee Ann Polytechnic

I saw it
It still kicked
Still fighting for its right to stay alive

Nothing. That was all I could do.

I could do nothing
But stay with it and keep it company
Stay by its side, as its life ebbed away with each droplet of blood that it lost

Quite a substantial amount.

Its eyes bulging out, almost popping out of their sockets
Again, all I could do, was nothing
Nothing, bar saying a prayer

And stroking it gently, in a pathetic attempt to calm it down.

Slowly, the kicking stopped
And with it, the pulse, too
Now, it was going to be only a matter of time before the maggots set in

I felt so gutted
So helpless
I did something, and yet all I could do, was nothing

It all happened in a matter of seconds
The nearest [animal] hospital would have been miles away
And I couldn't quite render first aid

It was like a scene straight out of fiction
When it died in my arms
Leaving my hands soaked in its blood

It hit me once again: life can be rather cruel
Why did it have to die?
Why didn't the other driver slow down?

After all, the road was empty: there was no need to swerve to avoid it, or even jam the brakes. All that was needed, was a slight touch on the brakes.

But he accelerated instead. And worse still, sped off after that.

I see death on a regular basis
I accept it as a part of life
But this one is pretty hard to stomach

For what I see is usually death itself
This time, the circumstances are a tad different
This time, I see a being actually dying

A non-natural death at that.

To that driver, I wish you luck
In all probability, like most hit-and-run cases, this one involving you will probably never be solved
And your identity will never be established

But I pray.

I pray that when it is your time to die, you will do so in the exact same manner in which you caused another being to die.

With that reckless, fucked-up act of yours.

That you be hit by an accelerating vehicle
Whose driver accelerates, in spite of seeing you
And when you are left heaving, convulsing, hyperventilating and lying on the road, I pray that you are greeted by the sight of the very being whose life you snatched away with your actions, and did not have the heart and / or balls to save and / or own up to

Amen.

People like you should really be skinned, hung out to dry and finally given an intravenous shot of engine oil before being left to die.

Footnote -> Section 84 of the Road Traffic Act [cap 276] states that:

Duty to stop in case of accident

84. —(1) If in any case owing to the presence of a motor vehicle on a road an accident occurs whereby damage or injury is caused to any person, vehicle, structure or animal, the driver of the motor vehicle shall stop and, if required to do so by any person having reasonable grounds for so requiring, give his name and address and also the name and address of the owner and the identification marks of the motor vehicle.

(2) If in the case of any such accident as aforesaid the driver of the motor vehicle for any reason does not give his name and address to any such person as aforesaid, he shall report the accident at a police station or to a police officer as soon as reasonably practicable and, in any case, within 24 hours of the occurrence thereof.

(3) If in any case owing to the presence of a motor vehicle on a road an accident occurs whereby any person is killed or any damage or injury is caused to any person, vehicle, structure or animal, the driver of the motor vehicle shall render such assistance as may be reasonably required by any police officer or in the absence of any police officer such assistance as it may reasonably be in the power of the driver to render.

(7) If any person fails to comply with any of the provisions of this section, he shall be guilty of an offence.

I hope you get your just desserts.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Almost.

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost-lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost-lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images, No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

Sunday, August 09, 2009


Already Gone.

Remember all the things we wanted?
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do-or-die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you; now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I'm already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
Already gone

There's no moving on, so I'm already gone.

here are some facts about me:
what you might (but probably won't) need to know about yours truly:

Well..
Crikey,Here We Go!!
Muhammad Fadzli is my name. They call me Fadz, Lee, Mr Mom.. and a whole load of other names too.
I've been on God's Green [admittedly now not-so-green] Earth Since: 13th September 1985, 2250 hrs
Seems alright, but tech geek, bookworm, media buff[not to be confused with media whore. This just means I love books, cds, dvds, the internet and any sources of information. or maybe i'm just an arty-farty buff.], romantic and idealistic at heart.

As I see it, I am:
->A fan of Manchester United [since 1992] and FC Barcelona [since 1996]
->tactful, but at times overly sensitive
->split down the middle [yes, like a penalty]
->a writer / footballer / counsellor / people person
->a sucker for romantic comedies
->a geek at heart
->an arty-farty buff

At this point in time?:
graduated [feels good saying that] from singapore polytechnic, probably the best poly in singapore?
completed my basic training at Singapore Police Academy & Home team Academy
But currently, all I am is just a cleaner on the streets.

Things I do?
listen to music.
think. contemplate. Reflect. I do this a whole lot more than some of you breathe.
football. reading about, playing, playing games based on.. everything to do with football. yes, even statistics.
read. I read anything and everything, from novels, articles on the internet, newspapers, comics, magazines, even food labels.
cook. I cook for my household.
write. when the inspiration comes, poetry in motion follows. Literally.
sing, but only privately.
talk to people.
surf the net for articles, friends to talk to.
immerse myself in computer and console games.

wot? more? och aye..
adaptable to any given situation.
loyal to the ones I hold dear.
selfless.
Calm under pressure. But I hate it when people ruffle my feathers and try to wind me up.
I can either take control of a situation, or slink quietly into the background. Depends.
Very long-winded at times. Does things in slow-mo.
Not your typical male. NO, I'm NOT gay.

Auld Skools
here are some schools i used to attend:
->Kindergarten in Yishun run by the ruling party
->Xishan Pri
->Chua Chu Kang Sec
->Singapore Polytechnic
->Police Academy
->Home Team Academy

What Lies in Store in The Future?
Hope to get a good job.
Not monetarily inclined. Money is not everything. I'd rather have a job that allows me to make a difference in, and touch the lives of others.
A wife, hopefully, whom I will honour and cherish will all my heart when she does appear. IF she appears.
Have a family. And keep it happy.
Have kids. The more the merrier. Life's too short to focus on other things. Kids are our future.
Watch 'em lil' rascals grow up to be fine young men and women
Enjoy the simple pleasures that life has in store, like sunsets, starry nights, nature.

wish list:

one day in the future:

->A Place To Call My Own
->My own set of wheels (2,4,doesn't matter lah.maybe both?)
->Family Pets
->iPod
->iMac
->A Wife, and where possible, Kids
->Make a difference in, and touching the lives of others
->Knowing that whatever I did, I did it as best I could,and that I wouldn't have my life any other way
->God's Blessings and protection for my Loved ones
->God's Forgiveness for all my wrongdoings
->A book of my own, published

for now,though:

->To Stay Healthy
->Peace and Tranquility within
->Reading Materials
->Media (books, videos, dvds, cds) by the sh*tload
->A whole a*seload of cash for the poor and helpless
->God's Blessings and protection for my Loved ones
->God's Forgiveness for all my wrongdoings
->Winning Her heart, when she does materialize

people dearest:

[Aai]
[Aai's auld page]
[Ah Ma(Chiao Mei)]
[Aini)]
[Alex Lee]
[Angela Chen]
[Benny]
[Charissa Low]
[Ce Huang]
[Cyn]
[Farahshila]
[Hisyam]
[Howard Lo]
[Izwan]
[Jianyong]
[Jiaying]
[Khai Lee]
[Kong Yee]
[Liluan]
[Michelle Goh]
[Min Hao]
[Nur Jannah]
[Pei Ying]
[Rima Melati]
[Ruth]
[Shan Wee]
[Sharon Low]
[Shu Ling]
[Shu Min]
[Siew Ping]
[Weewee]
[Wei Hui]
[Wei Kiat]
[Wei Ping]
[Wenda Chong]
[Xiu Mei]
[Xiu Yun]
[Yeeyee]
[Zeewe]



shopping,browsing:

[Adidas]
[Apple Singapore]
[Borders]
[Crumpler Singapore]
[Guess?]
[ikea Singapore]
[Levi's]
[nike]
[Ralph Lauren]
[Ralph Lauren for Homes]
[Swarovski]
[Swatch]

[T-Shirts United]

[United Direct]



references,research:

[Carrie Underwood Online]
[Color Codes]
[colormatch]
[cnet]
[Delia Smith Online]
[Getty Images]
[Gmail]
[Google News]
[Google Singapore]
[Hotmail]
[Internet Movie Data Base]
[Jamie Oliver,the Naked Chef]
[Liv Tyler]
[My Photos]
[National Geographic]
[Nigella Lawson]
[Reuters]
[Singapore Statutes]
[Tv ToMe]
[Wikipedia,Online Encyclopedia]
[Wiktionary,Online Dictionary]
[Yahoo!]
[youtube.com]


places to go a-visiting:

[The F.A.]
[Facebook]
[FC Barca]
[Friendster]
[Haro Singapore]
[Man United]
[Mr Brown Show]
[Multiply]
[Perfect 10 987 FM]
[Rockson]
[SG Forums]
[Shareholders United]
[Soccernet]
[SPCA Singapore]



movies.most beautiful ones :

[The Man in The Iron Mask]
[Spider-Man Movies]
[Lord of The Rings Trilogy]
[Forrest Gump]
[The Wedding Singer]
[Pearl Harbor]
[While You Were Sleeping]
[Armageddon]
[A Lot Like Love]
[The Last Samurai]
[Love Actually]
[The Hours]

Telly programmes I simply Love:

[Everybody Loves Raymond]
[That 70's Show]
[Third Watch]
[J.A.G]
[The O.C]
[One Tree Hill]
[Beauty and the Geek]
[Dia]

Look Me Up?

->Email
->cell
->fadzli13@hotmail.com(msn)

Credits:
Inspired By: Liew Kong Yee

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About the wee lad..



The writer is a serious young man born into a middle-class family.

One startling discovery that his teachers uncovered was that he was extremely versatile.

He had the potential to do practically anything; such was the diversity of his abilities.

As a result, he is constantly torn between who he was born to be, and who he desires to be.

Articulate, his seemingly exuberant exterior seeks to hide what is actually a very shy individual.

Football taught him :

(i) The joy of reaping the fruits of one's own labour, and yet at the same time, to appreciate that sometimes one can do wonders and still end up being disconsolate.

(ii) The value of a good work ethic and most importantly, fair play and gentlemanly conduct. Although not everyone practices good graciousness.

(iii) To work together in a team.

(iv) To take feedback on the chin and slug it out with any barriers to the objective.

Mathematics taught him :

(i) There needs to be some basic structure at all levels. If not, total chaos ensues.

(ii) Sometimes the little things that we overlook along th way are the ones that change the outcome by a metric mile.

Science taught him:

(i) Sometimes, no matter how well we plot out our path, the actual process always deviates from the intended path, even if only slightly.

(ii) That the theoretical and practical result are never exactly the same.

Religion taught him :

(i) To respect and appreciate the diversity of the human race and its different faiths and customs

(ii) To believe. In God, in himself.

Life has taught him :

(i) To never take things, and people, for granted

(ii) To give without expectation, to express himself in the only manner in which he can do effectively, and

(iv) To love unconditionally, for it is the only way to.

His natural idealism and drive often leads to eventually fruitless quests for perfection, and yet he is big enough to realise that perfection does not always lie in complexity. Rather, sometimes it lies in simplicity.

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